


Shattered Domesticallity

by GalekhXigisi



Series: Faith [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, I'm self projecting, M/M, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Trans Sam Winchester, it's not mentioned but it's there, this season hits upsettingly hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:35:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22290421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: Cas reflects on Sam and then shares a moment with Dean.Angsty but generally soft. Can be interpreted however you'd like!You do not have to read the series to understand this!
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Faith [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1517618
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Shattered Domesticallity

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the episode "The Trap"!

Cas watches Sam with raised brows, worry clear for the man currently strewn out across his bed, passed out after days of never-ending research, hyper-fixating on words that the forgotten prophet found important. It wasn’t very healthy for Sam to forget about taking care of himself so easily, but Sam never really  _ was _ the best kept. Anyone that knew him longer than a few years could see how messy the man was, how little he truly cared about himself. And he’s lost hope, the angel is certain of, watching his friend fall from the metaphorical grace. He’s sympathetic towards Sam, always has been, but it’s  _ painful _ to watch him string himself out so much. He’s been taking notes and writing down everything, lingering on words and holding onto them like they’ll replenish the hope he lost. 

They haven’t, not yet. 

Cas  _ wishes _ they could revive that hope Sam always held for humanity, protecting it without ever expecting anything in return. It was that child-like wonder that he’s barely been able to hold for  _ years, _ and it’s suddenly ripped away. It’s violent and tears at Sam, mentally  _ and _ physically, as well as spiritually. Sam’s soul was always bright, yes, practically flaming, but there’s a somber change in it that happens so rapidly that it actually manages to give Castiel fucking  _ whiplash. _ It really does, making the angel think that maybe it was a different soul trapped in that body. The only sparkle in his eyes blossoms from tears that fall in sad tumbles. It’s a defeat that stems farther than just depression. It’s a genuine  _ breaking. _

Humans were always fragile, yes, but Sam and Dean Winchester? They could put angels to  _ shame, _ sometimes. Their blind faith was that that could compare to the holiest, rival it without remorse. But now? Now, Castiel’s not only watched  _ Dean _ get torn down, but also Sam, who’s done nothing but fucking  _ fight. _ He’s fought and fought and  _ fought, _ even going up against Dean, against everyone he’s held dear over and over. Castiel’s seen him shatter beneath the pressure so many times, beneath Lucifer’s tight grip and God’s fumbled attempts at playing them nicely, but the visible change is that that can rival Lucifer’s constricting hold. 

There’s a flinch for most noise, a tensed body at each raised hand, a pause to process things. It’s  _ worse _ than when Lucifer’s nails still dug into Sam’s mind. He didn’t have Michael protecting him like Adam did. He didn’t have a merciful angel protecting him. Instead, he got loads and loads of  _ bullshit _ that only continued to strike him down, the feeling of Lucifer’s hold renewed and fresh, torn open with a multitude of other scars that never should’ve been faced. 

The angel still catches Sam’s sympathetic looks every time he mentions the Mark of Cain, watching him tense up and falter. The light that used to illuminate colorful eyes gets tossed out and Castiel watches the man fall down more and more. His slips caused skinned knees that never healed properly and fumbled attempts at saving himself that cause debris to rip the skin from his fingertips, festering and turning into a puss-filled infection soon after. It’s pitiful and the healing won’t come fast enough. 

Slowly, the angel trails through the bunker, his movements aimless, just wandering. The bunker is known for having countless magical items, ones that he’s sure could do some form of damage against their current enemy, but… There isn’t anything to  _ stop him, _ not  _ yet. _ They can’t just  _ stop him, _ no, he’s watched Sam closely and the way the man clings to a certain pocket watch like it powers his life, inspecting it at least three times a day but never fiddling with it, almost as if he feared the consequences. Cas wonders if he does as he finally ends up at Dean’s door, knocking softly on the wood. 

After a split second, there sounds Dean’s gruff voice, calling,  _ “Come in.” _

The angel opens the door, a frown already on his features that deepens at the books he finds on the hunter’s bed. Dean doesn’t  _ read for fun, _ that’s not his  _ fucking thing. _ That’s  _ Sam’s _ fucking thing! And it hurts, really, to see the flipped roles. Dean was the one with the self-destructive tendencies, not  _ Sam, _ who was now just down the hall and probably both dehydrated and malnourished. Cas doesn’t know the last time the forgotten prophet had eaten, but if he goes on horrid streaks like his older brother does, it’s been a hot minute or two. Sometimes, Cas really wishes the two weren’t so fucking  _ alike. _

“Yeah,” the man asks with a raised brow, pen held between his teeth as he reaches over the side of the bed to put two books on an already high stack. It appears that he’s putting them away, at least, so Cas  _ knows _ he’s not going to burn himself out like Sam certainly was. 

“I got Sam in bed.” He reports softly, shutting the door behind himself. 

Dean spits the pen to the floor, just beside the stack. He asks with a raised brow, “In, not to?” 

“In, not two,” Castiel repeats with a nod. “He passed out a few minutes after I went to check on him.” 

The hunter sighs softly, something so passively coated with worry. He places the last few books on the floor, a small stack when considered next to the taller one but already thick with seven books of its own. He pats the spot beside him, a silent invitation for the other to sit, who does so without a comment. “He’s going to wear himself out.” 

“I know, Dean,” the angels grumbles in reply. He doesn’t want Sam to fall to pieces, not  _ again, _ and he’s going to fight to the ends of the earth to prevent that if he can fucking help it. “I’m not sure what we can do outside of fighting.” 

Dean lets out a loud groan, nothing angry but something certainly upset. He crumbles against the bed. He’s dramatic, as per usual, but it’s clear he’s trying to make light of the situation without even being aware of it. “Well… If that’s not his thing for the moment, we’ve got to find him another passion project for now.” 

“We could adopt,” Castiel suggests passively. 

Dean’s brows furrow. “No! We can’t lose another kid!” 

“I meant a cat or dog, Dean, not a human child.” He smiles softly, just the ghost of an action. “Sam… He  _ needs _ some form of therapy animal, we can  _ both _ see that.” 

Dean nods softly in agreement. They  _ both _ knew Sam needed some form of companionship right now. “Maybe get hima puppy he could train? A corgi or something?” 

Cas snorts as he lays down beside the hunter, the two falling into easy conversation and quiet debating on what to present the young Winchester with soon. The consideration of getting some  _ other _ form of pet halts when Dean suggests a bird, maybe parrot of some kind because, _ No, Dean, we are not turning your brother into a pirate. _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not doing that okay and I'm really trying to hold out for my family because it feels dumb to be upset so I'm just playing the tough guy card and hoping things get better. 
> 
> I will post on the Faith series (specifically He's Been The Definition Of Faith) at some point, but, as of late, things haven't been the best so I'm just... Living, right now, and that's okay. i'm proud of myself and that's what matters. 
> 
> Here's my Discord server  
> https://discord.gg/eGkwayy


End file.
